People runnin’ everywhere
Don’t know where to go
Don’t know where I am
Can’t see past the next step
Don’t have time to think past the last one
Have no time to look around
Just run around, run around think why
— Robert Lamm
The schedule I set up crashed and burned. Didn’t even look at it today. I’ve still getting things done but the schedule was too complicated so I switched just to a simple list of tasks that I could set to repeat if necessary.
I do want to make something clear – I’m not so self-absorbed that I think anyone really cares much about my scheduling attempts or even most of the thoughts that pop in my head as I ponder the minutiae of my daily life. I won’t lie – I do hope I’m not boring people, but a lot of what I’ve written about is to provide context – My brain isn’t my friend.
And in that jumbled mess that is my brain – I’m looking for that spark, it’s not not just motivation – it’s bigger than that – it’s the spark that make’s life worth living. And I’m putting my search out there.
If I’m sounding altruistic – I’m not, I’m pretty much the embodiment of a bitter old man who looks at the past with regret and future with disillusion. Don’t bother me and I won’t bother you. I’m doing ok today though and I’ve got work on doing the things that keep me doing ok.
I admit hasn’t been much of a search so far – I’d like to think I’m just warming up and eventually I’ll get into a groove – but for now it is what it is, small strides.
Speaking of, it’s a nice day – going out for a walk.
— David