Archives

“Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think about it.”
– A.A. Milne – Winnie-the-Pooh

“In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
– Harry Lime (Orson Welles) – The Third Man (1949)


Trying is the first step toward failure.
– Homer Simpson (1997)


“Do the youngsters know what these goofballs are made of, son?”
– Sgt. Joe Friday (1952)


“What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it’s the meek who are the problem.”
– Life of Brian


“Making money ain’t nothing exciting to me. … You might be able to buy a little better booze than some wino on the corner. But you get sick just like the next cat, and when you die you’re just as graveyard dead as he is.”
– Louis Armstrong (1964)


June: “I got a call from your principal’s office. Do you know why I would need to go to the principal’s office?”
Beaver: “Wally must have done something bad.”
– Leave it to Beaver (1957)


“To me, tragedy is if I’ll cut my finger. That’s tragedy. … And to me, comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die.”
– Mel Brooks (1962)


“There has been a great laziness in my soul. Lots of days I could write songs, but I could also take my $400 and play the slot machines at the riverfront casino.”
– Chuck Berry (2001)


“We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it’s funny. Don’t you think it’s odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?.”
    “I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.”
– Bill Watterson – Calvin and Hobbes (1991)


“My father is no different than any other powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.”
    “Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed.”
“Oh. Who’s being naive, Kay?”
– The Godfather (1972)


“You know, I wanted to sit on a jury once and I was taken off the jury. And the judge said to me, ‘Can, you know, can you tell the truth and be fair?’ And I said, ‘That’s what journalists do.’ And everybody in the courtroom laughed. It was the most hurtful moment I think I’ve ever had.”
– Diane Sawyer (2007)


“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
– Blanche Balain, recorded in Albert Camus’s Notebooks (1942–1951)


“Corn Pop was a bad dude and he ran a bunch of bad boys.”
– Joe Biden (2017)


“In fact, our reverence for the truth might be a distraction that is getting in the way of finding common ground and getting things done.”
– NPR CEO Katherine Maher (2024)


“Taco Bell worker fires gun at three female customers after one tried to fill water cup with soda”
– NBC Miami (April 29, 2026)


“PS I forgot to say there is no worry about FOIAs. I can either send stuff to Tony on his private gmail, or hand it to him at work or at his house. He is too smart to let colleagues send him stuff that could cause trouble.”
– David Morens, M.D. (2021)


“Fuckin’ big bastards, that’s what the Beatles were. You have to be a bastard to make it, that’s a fact, and the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.”
– John Lennon (1970)


Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it’s enemy action.
– Ian Fleming (1959)